posted Jan 26, 2012 8:48 AM by Great American Fierce Beard Club
[
updated Jan 26, 2012 8:50 AM
]
Today marks the 175th anniversary of the adoption of Michigan as a state in our Union. An impressive twenty-one Governors of the State of Michigan (we are not including the governors of the territory of Michigan) have rocked facial hair, including an impressive run of all Governors from 1853 until 1911. These have ranged from manicured mustaches, to glorious free flowing beards.
We happened to be based in Lansing, MI which is, as you should know, our State Capital. We also love making lists. In fact, we lost out on a great movie role to Liam Neeson, as he is the only person better than us at creating lists. So...we present to you, The Top 22 Governors of Michigan (based on facial hair, not accomplishments).
#22 - Luren Dickenson
Simple, well manicured 'stache. He is the last Governor to sport facial hair, the oldest ever Governor, and the only Governor to enter office due to the death of the incumbent.
#21 - Charles Croswell
Charles was known for his sideburns, way before Luke Perry and Jason Priestly brought them into fashion during Beverly Hills 90210. Croswell was the first Governor to occupy the current Capitol Building.
#20 - J. Wright Gordon
This Abraham Lincoln look-alike is more famous for his death than his life as governor. He only served as Governor for 11 months, taking over for William Woodbridge who resigned to take a seat in the U.S. Senate. At the age of 44, and while serving as U.S. Consul to Brazil, Gordon fell from a 2-story balcony and promptly died. He is interred in Brazil.
#19 - Fred M. Warner
Warner was a big proponent of child labor laws, women's suffrage, and unadulterated cigarettes. He also sported a serious 'stache. This 'stache is from his pre-governor days, when he opened 13 cheese factories. During his time in office, he sported a shorter, less bushy mustache.
#18 - Albert Sleeper
This sassy 'stache is only rivaled by the bowtie. Sleeper is responsible for the fact that Michigan has some of the greatest State Parks in the country, and for the fact that you have a little plastic card with your picture on it that says you can operate a motor vehicle.
#17 - Andrew Parsons
Sure, in this drawing Parsons looks like he and his neck beard are plotting ways to kill you in your sleep, but that is probably because he is.
#16 - Moses Wisner
Wisner only became active in politics for a short period of his life. Spurred on by his hatred of slavery, he became a very vocal opponent of the Kansas-Nebraska Act of 1854 and got involved. He served as Governor from 1859-1961 and then went on to fight in the Civil War, dying of Typhoid Fever in 1862 at the rank of Colonel.
#15 - Edwin Winans
Winans was a elected as a Fusion candidate, wherein two or more parties join forces to nominate the same person. He also is one of the big reasons that elections are done on secret ballots now, instead of oral elections which is a bunch of nonsense and leads to stupid things like State Caucuses (we're looking at you Iowa) that serve no real purpose at all.
#14 - Hazen S. Pingree
Pingree, in addition to having a sweet name, was known throughout the world as the look-alike to Henry VII of Great Britain. Pingree served as Mayor of Detroit (attempting to even hold both Mayorship and Governorship at the same time for one year), was an advocate of community farms in cities, pushed for railway systems, and was a big reason that 8 hour workdays exist.
#13 - Russel A. Alger
GAFBO member John used to work at Alger Party Store. John also use to go to middle school dances at one of Alger's former homes (which is now a War Memorial/event center) and get embarassed/excited to dance with girls to Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight." We're not sure why you need to know that, but you also don't need to know that Alger was a Lumber Baron in Grand Rapids before becoming Governor.
#12 - Cyrus G. Luce
Luce was responsible for some stuff that happened. We think with booze. He's pretty boring, but looks dapper with that beard/suit/bowtie combo. Also, he looks like GAFBO's collective Grandfather, hence his higher ranking.
#11 - John T. Rich
What was Rich known for, you ask? Well, he presided during a time when the there was a railroad and iron workers strike. FOR HIS WHOLE DAMN TERM. However, he looks like someone who would bare-knuckle box you. We are scared of him.
#10 - Kinsley S. Bingham
If we told you this was a portrait of the assassin John Wilkes Boothe or Leon Czolgosz (killed McKinley), you'd believe us, wouldn't you? However, this guy is not a killer. He was instrumental in establishing the Agricultural College of the State of Michigan (which is now known as Michigan State University), So...indirectly, Kinsley is responsible for the formation of GAFBO. Which definitely earns him a spot in the Top Ten.
#9 - Austin Blair
Any other state ever have a Vampire as one of their Governors? We thought not. Blair served during the Civil War, and was responsible for the formation of programs that provided assistance to families of soldiers. When he left office, he was nearly destitute, after having used vast amounts of his own personal fortune to help pay for this assistance and other assistance to people effected by the Civil War.
#8 - Henry Crapo
Far and away, he's got the worst name on this list. But he sports a fine Donegal beard, that is only rivaled by the infamous Miletus Callihan-Barille of the Austin Facial Hair Club. He is known for vetoing railway aid legislation, refusing to pardon convicts without overwhelming evidence of their innocence, and the fact that John Goodman should play him in a movie.
#7 - Aaron T. Bliss
Our highest rated mustache Governor, Bliss was a busy man during his terms. On top of looking classy with that 'stache, he oversaw that the Michigan Employment Institution for the Adult Blind was established
in Saginaw, a state highway department was formed, and railroad taxation
was sanctioned.
#6 - William L. Greenley
We believe that Wilford Brimley was inspired by Greenley, but didn't want to copy the exact style, so he just took the Walrus 'stache and ran with it. Greenley was known for....ummm....he did....well there was that one time......and then the......Oh! Look at the time! Gotta run!
#5 - Alpheus Felch
While Felch was in office, the State Capital was moved to Lansing. We like to imagine that he was a mad scientist, who created some sort of magic potion that literally moved the Capital and all the buildings, documents, people, etc. to Lansing.
#4 - Josiah Begole
Begole's term was fraught with as much Republican opposition as President Obama faces today. Begole was a Republican, but switched parties and won the Governorship as a Democrat. He had a difficult time pushing anything through, but was able to create the State Bureau of Labor Statistics. What was his problem with the Republican party, and why did he leave it? Because he supported Women's Suffrage, and they didn't.
#3 - David Jerome
Jerome, who looks remarkably like GAFBO member Josh, was integral in advancing the state railway system as well as establishing the School for the Blind in Lansing. He also helped with the creation of the Traverse City State Hospital for the Insane which is now a beautiful mixed-use building housing a great winery, fair trade coffee roasters, hotels, apartments, restaurant, and a brick oven bakery. It's also apparently haunted.
#2 - Henry P. Baldwin
Baldwin popularized the newly minted "Groomed Beard" category at your local beard and moustache competition. This is the best way to grow a large beard, but be able to avoid all those damn ZZ Top references (NOBODY LIKES THOSE!!!!!!) However, he was a jerk of a Governor. Remember Josiah Begole, #4 on our list? He left the Republican party because of guys like this. When Baldwin was governor, he vetoed the Women's Suffrage amendment.
#1 - John J. Bagley
Look at that amazing beard! Isn't it awesome? That's the type of facial hair that we are truly missing in politics today. Bagley clearly takes the top prize for Best Facial Hair on a Governor for the State of Michigan. However, his term was a mixed bag. He was a big reason that the Board of Health was created and led the fight against Juvenile Delinquency. He proposed railroad regulations, and started the State Fish Commssion. He also created an insurance company, helped found the Republican party (who as we talked about previously hated women having any rights during that time period) and was a huge advocate of prohibition. No matter what you think about him politically, he sports a tremendous beard.
|
|
